sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize