Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
