So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Drake has all the answers
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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