Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
