3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
