Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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