do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
