Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
