have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize