Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
