party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
