Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
