a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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