we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
