Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
