He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is this like a preordered booty call?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
