I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
