i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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