So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
