I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
