Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
