Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
