does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had to cum in my sink.
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