The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
A+ Viking dick
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
