If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
