You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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