Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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