I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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