Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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