I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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