Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
