More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
