at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
