You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His hands were made for my vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
