I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
