You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
