Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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