Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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