I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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