yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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