I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
