why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
