I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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