You're completely useless in the revolution.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize