is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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