Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How's work?
Spinning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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