could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
