Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
