hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
