I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
