I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize