I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
True strength comes from lack of pants
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
