Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
