The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
