I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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