What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
