Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
