A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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