i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
