Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
