If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
