We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize