theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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